doors and darkness
breaking of glass
and the medicine cabinet
that smells of pills and potpourri
next to the brass footed tub
that walks away each thursday
at the stroke of two
to find a long gone teatime
by the dried lakeside
that once held life and death
His life flashed before his eyes a few seconds after I died. I know this because I was watching, still tied to him on a level that transcended my physical body. He fell into a small sleeping pile after I saw the shock in his eyes. I was dead; I didn’t know it at the time, the whole thing happened too quickly. I didn’t know what I had done but I had been taken away by the peacekeepers.
Now I expect that you’d like some background… He was quite shy, and as most people who are like him he was forced into fixing it. I was introduced as his guide, meant to stick around and make sure he functioned as part of society rather than getting out of things by being shy. I was like his shadow, it wasn’t a great job and it took a lot of patience but I needed to work off my last 10 hours. It was also my job to calm him.
He was curled in on himself like he did whenever something was bothering him. I sat down on the couch next to him and asked him what was wrong.
“I… I’ve got three hours left to work… The month’s almost over and nothing is open…” Tears streaked his face, we all knew how serious the work requirement was but it never seemed to bother me.
“You’re coming with me.” I laughed slightly and grabbed his arm. We snuck off to one of the few parks left in the down and I pulled open the hole in the fence that had never been fixed enough.
“Isn’t that illegal?” he whispered with a pale face.
“I would think so, but we’ve done it before.” I guided him under the fence and helped him down the steep hill meant to discourage anyone who dared sneak beyond the fence.
The sun speckled on the ground when we woke up.
“Why did you drag me out here?”
“Maybe because you were getting all worked up about something and I know it’s important but my job is to keep you calm.”
“You don’t have to practically kidnap me… What if the peacekeepers come looking for us!”
“Sh… It’ll be okay. Give me a day and then we can go home. I’ll hook you up with a job, we have 5 days anyway.” I reassured him quietly. He sighed defeatedly. The day was uneventful, mostly me going through ideas for a job and forcing him to do the techniques the therapists taught him.
The night fell and I gave him my jacket as the sun slowly left the sky. He crept closer to me until he was sitting at my side. After the sky was fully dark and the stars had yet to come he leaned up to me and pressed a little kiss to my lips.
“Woah…” I breathed quietly as he tucked his head under my arm.
“Oh… Sorry I guess I should’ve asked you…”
“No… It’s fine, but I don’t think I should reciprocate. I mean look at all the processes and stuff that we have to do to even hook up…”
“Okay…”
-
In the morning we headed back up to his house, I dropped him off and set out to find a job to get his last three hours. I returned to his doorway and knocked on the door. When he opened I laced my fingers with his and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“I found one, working in an animal clinic. They need 4 hours of work.”
“Stop! People are looking at me, see they’re watching, I know it….”
“Calm down, now why don’t you go work.”
-
We went on like this for a few days, I wasn’t even sure if I had even counted my hours as a guide for him, but I no longer cared. We shared small moments of affection but that was it. I was about to take him off to a therapy session. When we approached the menacingly white building I walked inside with him, following him towards the room where his therapist met with us. After he went through the door I was stopped by two men.
I watched him return home, and now here I was hovering over him sleeping on the floor. I followed him around for a few days, but just recently I stopped. I followed him to his next therapy session and floated overhead, hoping they had broke it to him gently.
“I haven’t been sleeping well…” God, he looked so small now…
“Have you been taking the medicine I gave you?” She asked in a sickeningly sweet manner.
“Yes. But they don’t help!”
“Hm… Why haven’t you been sleeping lately?”
“Well I keep having these dreams… With this guy in them…”
“Interesting, we’ll explore those dreams later sweetie…”
it was words,
my good man,
that killed the innocent child you beseech
it was words,
my good man,
that infected the mind and spread
growing outward and inward and consuming
in a way not unlike cancer,
akin but different in one way
for it created thought
where the other created sickness
and it consumed the innocence of this poor child
but instead bred an artist
an artist who would rather
remain without a cure
than return to mindless doldrums
of innocent life
Twas once when the sun shone bright
And filled pale skies with the young light
Of the times far gone
But naught forgot
For the one name on the breathe
Of the wayward traveler
Who nary remembered the time
But instead relinquished perception
In turn for freedom of the young light
And space in the stars
For such a fargone mind
Should not be set away
To waste and wither throughout a day
But rather watch the sun set
And spread over the land
With care and purpose
In the timeless morn
Slick tires or slick road. It didn’t matter anymore. I was driving; it was a miracle I knew how, no one did in this age. I had to get out, one way or another. And so I found myself driving in the darkness, figuring it all out as I went. After I had finally got the hang of the car I saw lights behind me. I wasn’t going to get out of it this time. I did the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I veered off somewhere, the darkness swallowing me, and lifted my hands off the wheel before pushing myself into the passenger seat. There. Now there was no way to chicken out. I don’t even remember the crash, I only remember pain and then nothing. I don’t even remember…
“You’re not an angel,” they said, “you’re a boy.”
He sucked on the chunk of bread they had given him and nodded slowly. Pleased with his answer they left the padded room. He stood up and stripped off the hospital gown. He dug his toes into the hard floor and arched his back to try to look in the mirror. Long scars ran down his pale skin.
He sighed, biting his lip. He sat back down on the bed and he knew.
I loved the old lake, I constantly played around in the shallow ends and drank the cold, dark water. I spent the entire summer around it, but now I don’t anymore.
It started when I was wandering out and staring into the water. I saw my reflection as usual, but behind it a stone glimmered. I submerged my head and fished around for it. I don’t really remember what happened yet but I woke up in my house in a big blanket. I guess I fell in; my mother came out with a glass of tea and I drank it eagerly.
I went back to the forest afterwards, she said it was okay. I ran out and jumped over all of the familiar logs and rocks. I reached the lake, my favorite lake. I shook off my shoes and dangled my feet in, letting the fish nibble on my toes.
Then I remembered the rock I had desired and looked back to see if I could find it. I saw it again; still shimmering behind my reflection. I lost all interest in getting the rock and backed away from the waterside. My reflection’s eyes were closed.
I watch lithe fingers dance upon pale flesh and play it with the grace of a violinist and desire quietly from the backdrop.
They were playing doctor.
“I’m sorry sir, it’s the only way to save your wife’s life!” Geoff exclaimed excitedly. He leaned over the girl and began poking at her stomach, she giggled gently. Geoff messed around a bit more, prodding her with sticks and making fake incisions. Isaac joined in soon after.
“Sophie hasn’t said anything for a bit…” Geoff chewed on his lip, he was sitting on the picnic table as Isaac continued prodding. Isaac stepped back to admire his handywork and called Geoff over.
“Sophie! Are you asleep?” No reply.
“Sophie!” Geoff sort of sung her name. Beginning to get worried he nudged her with his foot.
“Sophie! Get up!!!” Tears glistened on his face.
“I’m sorry doctor, the surgery failed!” Isaac laughed, pulling a penknife from his pocket. Geoff looked down at Sophie and backed away slowly.
“What… What did you do to her?”
“I tried to save her.” Isaac stepped closer smiling. Geoff took off running through the woods tripping over branches. Each time he fell he saw Isaac shortly behind him and it seemed as if he never made any distance between them. Geoff saw his house and collected the last drops of his energy to run to the lighted doorway. He crashed his entire weight into the door and shut it quickly after getting inside. He locked the doors and took a deep breath.
“Geoff, dear, what’s wrong?” Mother came and picked him up like when he was a baby.
“Mum… Isaac… He… He hurt Sophie… A lot I think!” Hot tears streamed down his cheeks.
“It’s okay… I’ll call the police to help us find Sophie, but Geoff, dear, who’s Isaac?”
She’s the embodiment of immortality. She was the first to go through with the surgery, it removed the ability to die. No one thought it would work, but it did.
-
Sharp fingers dug into soft flesh. She set about clawing and clawing before collapsing on the floor into a puddle of her own blood. Hot tears mingled with blood and small pieces of skin as she fell into diseased sleep. She woke up and clutched her head, the hair was matted with blood. She stood up, feeling hungover from the blood loss, and wandered over to a mirror. The flesh was missing from her cheeks, her jaw bones glinted with scratches carved and painted with blood and her teeth were tinged red.
“Fuck.” she screamed, at herself, at the doctors, at the world, she didn’t even know anymore. She was as pale as a ghost and the proof that she should be dead lay in a crimson puddle on the floor, but she wasn’t. She never would be.
